Under lover
by Care.Free.Lines
Summary: Terrible at - Sarah Hadley grew up content with her adoptive family, knowing who she is completely until her crush Simon Lewis starts going back to school and she find herself lost in confusion between the parents she never knew, her Shadowhunter gift, her past, her future and her undying love for And what's with these nightmares she keeps having? - First
1. Simon - Chapter one

I waited patiently while Jess bought her mom's groceries, I'd taken to waiting outside though as the store was packed and I didn't feel like being pushed and shoved by some angry mothers who were cranky from a long day at work. I leaned against the lamppost with crossed legs and folded arms, staring straight over the road at where Simon Lewis was standing talking to Clary Fray and some other blonde boy. It looked like a rather relaxed conversation, they were all smiling. I hadn't seen Clary Fray in a long time now; she must have dropped out of school and gone to a different one. Simon, however, only stopped coming to school a few weeks ago. I hope he comes back, without him; I have nobody to stare at. He departed from Clary and the blonde guy and crossed the street, walking this way. Clary and the blonde guy disappeared in the other direction and I smiled, I stood up properly and stopped Simon; standing in front of him.

"Hey Simon" I smiled, he stared at me; he looked incredibly confused to see me. "Remember me?" I asked, slightly hopeful. He looked unsure, oh great. My crush doesn't even know who I am, I should have figured as much. "Sarah Hadley, Harriet's sister; you guys used to hang out a lot last year" I reminded him.

"Oh yeah" he said, remembering at least who Harriet was. "Wow, I haven't seen her in a while. How's she doing?"

"Fine" I replied, he doesn't care who I am or how I'm doing. I guess I should have known that too, disappointment sunk into the pit of my stomach and I let my smile fall. Simon, who was still staring at me, looked a little awkward.

"Well, that's good" he said, I doubted he actually cared. I turned when I saw Jess in the corner of my eye. She was holding a brown bag filled to the top with vegetables and fruits.

"Who're you talking to?" she asked, for a second I thought she was kidding and then I realised she was just being plain rude as the serious tone showed threw her tone and face. I looked up at Simon, and then glanced back at her.

"Simon" I said, feeling weird having to point it out. I knew she didn't like that I was interested in him but even I wouldn't be that horrible to someone to pretend they're not even there. It was almost like she looked straight through Simon, and looked down the street.

"Where is he?" she asked, sceptically squinting at me. Is she really this cruel?

"I have to go, see you around Sarah" Simon said quickly before darting past me and sprinting down the street behind me; I turned and watched him go. Jess just looked at me, confused.

"Maybe you need to have a lie down, that hangover must be pretty bad to be making you hallucinate like this" Jess sighed, she even sounded worried. I felt disgusted with her but also bewildered. She was either a brilliant actress or...she really hadn't seen him. Simon's face came back into my mind, when I stopped and talking to him. Why was he so shocked I'd stopped him? Surely I was allowed to say hello? Maybe I am hallucinating. "Not that I'm pleased you'd hallucinate Simon up, of all people. I thought you said you were over that dork" Jess groaned, she started walking off down the street slowly and I hesitated. I could follow her, and listen to her go on about how I'm too good for the likes of Simon Lewis or I can turn around and go after Simon. I'd rather go after Simon, and ask what that was all about but he'd be long gone now what with the speed he took off at. I followed Jess, keeping behind her and zoning out. I didn't want to hear all about how Simon only had eyes for Clary, I already knew that. I'd known it for a long time and it never got any easier to accept.

Once we'd arrived at Jess's house, instead of going inside. I said goodbye at the door and made a run for it before she could continue about Simon, I managed to sprint home in time just to catch my dad leaving for work. He smiled at me as I slowed into a walk, and walked up onto the pavement of which he'd parked his car on the end. "Hey, kiddo" he said, I gave him a one arm hug and stepped back. Letting him climb into his car, it was strange to have a dad who drove a police car. But I guess it did make me feel a little bit safer, he strapped himself in and rolled the window down.

"Have a good night, dad" I said, hoping it went all right for him. He's been having a stressful time at work lately what with more and more police men being targeted, it was strange that of all the people in New York; the police would be the ones disappearing. "Stay safe" I added, I knew he would. But still, the fear of losing him swallowed me up every time he left to go somewhere. I don't know how I'd manage without him, he's practically my best friend...well, I don't tell him my secrets but only because he'd tell me off.

"Always do; kiddo. Your mom's in bed, she's not feeling very well, your soup is on the stove; just warm it up. And your sister is sleeping over at Amy's house tonight" he explained, right; so basically it was just Callum who was in the apartment? I could manage with that, Callum and I don't spend much time together like ever so we usually just get on with our own thing and ignore each other's presence. I liked it like that; it was calming but not lonely.

"Okay dad, see you later" I smiled, he smiled back and I left his car; I pushed open the door to our block of apartments and took the stairs up to the third floor. My door was number 12, so I had to walk past 1-11 first. I unlocked the door and saw Callum on the sofa next to one of his friends; dad hadn't told me he had someone over. Would have been nice, I had already planned on reading my book on the sofa; while he played his video games but oh well. I can take my book to my room or go on my Psp. I took my coat off and hung it up on the hanger before stepping out of my flats and kicking them under the shoe rack. I went straight to the kitchen and warmed my soup up before pouring it into a small white, china bowl that had a few cracks in it. Mom and dad really need to buy some new bowls, and some new plates. These ones are getting ridiculous. I ate my soup at the kitchen table, alone while rethinking the Simon situation. The only way for it to have happened was for me to have actually been hallucinating. It's not like people can be invisible, and I know Jess needs glasses to read but she's not that blind. Maybe I just really wanted to see Simon, I have been thinking about him a lot. He looks so different now, before he looked so healthy and dorky. Now without his glasses and his hair darker, skin paler and eyes sharper; he looked so mysterious and well sexy. But he'd always been sexy to me, even with his glasses and dorky clothes. I wonder what happened to him to make him mature so much, no... Not mature, he was always mature. Change is a better word for it.

"Sarah" Callum's voice said, I snapped out of my thoughts and frowned. What could he possibly want? I stood up and brushed myself down so the bread crumbs fell to the floor and poked my head around the side of the doorway. Callum's eyes were still on the television screen, they were playing some racing game on the Play Station.

"Yes?" I asked, watching the back of his head.

"You got a letter" he said dryly, "It's on your bed" he added, as I glanced around the living room to see where it was. Oh. I had a letter? I never get letters.

"Okay" I responded, "thanks for letting me know" I added, awkwardly. I finished off my soup in a few mouthfuls and washed the bowl and spoon. I then went to my room, swinging my bag off my back and carrying it. I closed my bedroom door and dumped my bag down on the bed; I stretched and yawned then opened my bedroom curtains and let the sunshine pour through. Letting in light so my room wasn't so dark, I flopped down onto the bed and picked up the white envelope with my name on it in blue fine writer. It had a few stamps on it so it must have traveled pretty far to get here. I sat up and turned it over; I ripped it open and opened the one piece of paper. Why would someone send me this? It's just an address. But I knew that address, it's got a few houses nearby and an old crumbling church. It's nothing special, and certainly has nothing to do with me. I tipped the envelope upside down and a necklace fell onto my bed, I picked it up gently. It was a silver chain with a small silver cross on it. Why would someone send me an address and a necklace? Both pointing to religion I guess; still seems weird. I've never been known to be religious before, maybe it's one of my friends playing a practical joke. Although I doubt they'd spend so much time doing it considering it would have taken at least a week for this to get to me through the post and even so; this envelope has stamps on saying it's been to Ohio, West Virginia and Pennsylvania. I don't have any friends in any of those places. Maybe it's not meant for me, maybe there's a different Sarah Hadley out there. I put the address and necklace back in the envelope and put it on my bedside table, I guess I can ask dad tomorrow morning. Maybe it's from a relative or something. I sighed and pulled my red sweater off over my head and lay down, staring at the ceiling. Today has been long, school was boring and walking around the mall with Jess was just as lame. I love Jess, she's a great person but when she goes on about all these boy band members, I just want to shove an apple in her mouth. I couldn't care less who's dating who and who cheated on whom with someone else. Their lives are just as lame as mine, probably. They just have more money. I listened to the sound of Callum and his friend shouting over their game, I remember when Cal and I used to do that. We don't play together anymore though, I mean sure we borrow each other's games and he can be playing on GTA on the console and I'll be playing it on my Psp next to him but we never talk to each other about stuff anymore. I rolled over and kicked my socks off before climbing under my sheets and snuggling into my pillow, I just need a nap and then I can think properly.


	2. Glamour - Chapter two

Another awful day at school, I seriously should just drop out now. It would save me having to suffer for another year and a half. I was waiting outside of the school gates for Jess when I saw Simon, Simon? I was about to call out to him but looked around, what I was hallucinating again? If nobody else could see him then I'd look crazy, I saw him cross the road and go down through the cut to the houses, I looked up towards the school; Jess isn't anywhere to be seen. I sighed impatiently and took off down the street, I'm sure Jess won't be there till I return. And if she is, she'll wait; I hope. I sprinted after Simon and found myself going through the cut and out into the block of apartments; like mine except mine were the other way from school. Where's he gone? I frowned, "Simon?" I called. He's not here; I swear I'm going crazy. "Simon!"

"Okay, okay; no need to shout" Simon smirked, stepping out from behind me. How did he get there? How didn't I see him?

"What're you doing?" I asked him, spinning around feeling quite alarmed. He was wearing a green t-shirt with an X-Box controller on it and blue jeans. His hair messy but he still looked the same as yesterday; like he'd just had a bad night and was coming down with the flu except in an exceptionally stunning way. I could feel my pulse in my chest, just looking at him made me feel so...breathless. Or maybe it's from the shock.

"I'm going home, what are you doing?" he asked, I didn't want to say I was following him. That was be awkward. I glanced around and then back at him, trying to wrack my brain for a good response but I couldn't think of one so I challenged him instead.

"You live around the corner from me, if you went this way; it'd take you at least an hour to get home" I told him, he smiled a little.

"I felt like going for a walk" he murmured, I suppose that makes sense. No, actually it doesn't.

"Why are you here? You haven't been at school for weeks now" I questioned, it was a strange route to walk if you ask me. He was still smiling a little, he thinks I'm funny? He's laughing at me.

"Like I said, I was walking. Well, I was until I noticed you following me" he said, he didn't even sound bothered that I was following him. Almost like he had expected me to follow him,

"Yesterday, were you actually there? Or did I just imagine that? Because Jess couldn't see you, or maybe she could; I don't know" I rambled, ignoring his lie about just going for a walk. I was confused, I don't even know if he's actually here or if I'm just imagining this conversation.

"Why would you imagine me?" he asked, seeming amused still. He's mocking me, I blushed.

"Fine, laugh at me all you want" I scowled; I pushed past him and walked back along the cut. Even the slight touch of me to his body told me he was cold, not cold; freezing.

"Sarah, wait. I'm sorry" he said, jogging after me. He followed me back to the school, Jess still wasn't waiting. "I was there yesterday, you did see me" he told me, I turned to him abruptly; he nearly walked into me.

"And Jess?" I asked,

"Couldn't see me because I had a glamour over me, you shouldn't have been able to see me either" he told me, I wasn't sure what a glamour was and I wasn't sure I wanted to ask, in case it was something everyone knew about and I was just stupid but he said that was the reason Jess couldn't see him.

"So...glamour is like a cloak of invisibility?" I asked, arching my eyebrows and crossing my arms.

"Something like that" he replied, looking down at me. I could still feel my cheeks flustered; I wish he'd stop looking at me. My heart can't take the attention; he's never actually looked at me before. Not properly anyway, not like the way he was doing now.

"Are you wearing it now?" I asked, glancing around at the people milling around us. I really don't want to look like I'm talking to myself.

"No" he smirked, "and it's not like a piece of clothing. You won't believe me" he sighed shaking his head.

"I believed you were invisible yesterday, try me" I scowled, he's patronizing me now. I'm not stupid, well at least I don't think I am. What if he's joking? What if this is just a joke he and Clary are playing on me? The last thing I need is for people to laugh at me, especially at school.

"Magic" he said, magic?

"Magic" I repeated, looking at him with an unimpressed expression. He's got to be joking for sure.

"I knew you wouldn't believe me" he rolled his eyes, okay; so he's being serious. Magic, huh? He was invisible yesterday because of magic?

"Okay, so if you were using...magic, how come I saw you?" I asked, looking around again as people walked past us. I really didn't want anyone to hear any part of this conversation; they'd think we're both crazy.

"Can we talk somewhere else?" he asked, he was aware of the other people also. Where would he like to talk?

"I have to wait for Jessica" I told him, he rolled his eyes again.

"If you want to know..." he trailed off, he turned and walked back down the cut. If I want to know how I saw him yesterday, I'd have to go now. I frowned, Jess will kill me if I just leave her but I don't think Simon will give me a second chance. Jess will forgive me, I'm sure of it. I ran after Simon and caught him walking half way down the blocks of apartments. I was breathless when I caught up; he slowed though; letting me get my breath. How does he walk so fast? Jeez.

"So?" I asked, sucking in more breaths.

"Not here, come on. I'll take you to the institute, there's someone who wants to talk to you" he told me, the institute?

"Where's that?" I asked, he didn't reply though. We just continued walking; I didn't speak again until we turned the corner onto the street with the church. This has to be like some sick trick or definite joke! I stopped and crossed my arms; Simon stopped a few metres away and turned to me with a confused look on his face. "The church" I said, he nodded as if answering the question I hadn't yet asked. "Who wants to talk to me?" I asked, looking past him at the church. Why would they want me to go here of all places? It's trashy, not to mention creepy.

"She's lovely, she's called Maryse Lightwood" he told me, "she'll explain everything" he added with a smile to encourage me, he'll have to do more than smile at me for me to follow him inside that church.

"Why would she want to meet me here?" I asked, not looking at him. He looked back at the church and then at me, I stared at it; feeling a weird sensation like there was something in my eyes. I looked away from the church and stared at Simon, he still had the smile on his face. Why can't he tell me?

"You just can't see it yet" he told me, "it's the glamour."

"Whatever Simon, look this has been real nice but I should be going" I said awkwardly, taking a few steps back. He looked alarmed.

"Wait, just...don't go, I don't know how to make you see it" he murmured to himself, he looked upwards at the sky; well that's what I could see him looking at. "Um, try wiping away cobwebs or something like your eyes can't see through them" he shrugged, cobwebs. I looked at the church again and searched, closer for some way of clearing anything but nothing came to me.

"I'm sorry Simon, I can't" I muttered, feeling like I'd disappointed not only him but myself too. He frowned and looked back at the church.

"Maybe I was wrong about you" he muttered, nice; kick a girl when she's down. I suppose that's all over and done with then, he's probably never going to walk past me in the street again. I guess I should go; this entire situation has gotten weird. I closed my eyes tightly before opening them and sighing; I turned; twisting my head to keep the church in sight. Just before I was about to fully turn around, I saw something. Like a peel flap in the corner of my eyes. I visualised myself pulling it, tugging it and gently slipping it off. Once it was gone, I had to blink a few times before I saw it. Before an entire building began to appear in front of my eyes, oh my God; how did I not see that?

"How does nobody else see it? It's not like you, it's massive. It's beautiful" I breathed, stepping forward; past Simon and looking up at it; I felt him move to my side.

"Glamour" he scoffed, "it's like..."

"A giant invisibility cloak, got it" I breathed, bewildered. He chuckled.

"We're going with Harry Potter then, I take it" he said, I rolled my eyes. He's the one that started talking about magic. How else was I meant to digest this? It's nothing I've ever seen before, nothing I thought was possible. I'd never even imagined it, I mean sure I've read stories where these kinds of things happen but nothing has ever even hinted at being magical in the real world. What if I'm hallucinating this as well? Things have been really stressful lately; maybe I'm just going into some kind of shock. What if my mind can't deal with real life so it's making things up? And even if that's not it, and all this stuff is real; why can I see it? Why me? Why couldn't Jess see past this glamour? I started backing up, feeling my heart beat increase and my breathing break up into short breaths. "Sarah, it's okay. I know it's a lot to take in" Simon said alarmed, taking hold on my hands. Usually, I'd blush and stammer but I was so surprised.

"Simon, you're freezing" I told him, looking down at his hands. He jerked them away from me and I looked up into his eyes, his eyes that weren't quite his eyes. "What happened to you?" I asked, wanting to know. He was so different, and even though I knew he was still Simon. It was the Simon I knew that I fell for, what if he's not that Simon anymore? What if that Simon's gone?

"Come inside, let them explain" he stressed,

"I don't want them to explain, I want you to tell me the truth" I told him, feeling over anxious. I can't quite grasp this, what he's showing me. What he wants me to understand, how am I meant to just understand? This is all so crazy. I shook my head, "I'm sorry" I said gently,

"Sarah" he started but I turned on my heels and sprinted off round the corner, leaving him standing there alone. This is just...too much. I took myself home, and went straight to my room; slamming the door behind myself. I paced my room a few times and then sat on the floor; I did some deep breathing techniques and tried to think of everything I'd just seen. I can't have imagined that, it was too real, too big. I can understand imagining Simon up, my feelings for him are so strong it makes me want to cry whenever I think about him loving Clary and not me but this Institute; I have no idea what it even is. I can't possibly have imagined that. I pinched myself a few times to see if I was sleeping and frowned when I just ended up with nip marks up my arms. I'm definitely awake. I closed my eyes until my breathing was calmed. I have to go back, I have to see what all this is about but I'm scared. After I find out, I don't think I can go back. And I'm not sure I want that.


	3. Nightmares - Chapter three

_"I don't understand, please! I don't understand, don't do this; please" cried a woman hysterically, I could only see the back of her but she was hunched over and looked very fragile. Her body shaking of tears; she fell to her knees. "I'll do whatever you want, Valentine. Please! I'll do whatever" she sobbed, "just not him. Please" she begged. _

_The manly figure appeared out of the shadows, his arms down by his sides. His left hand wrapped around a little boy's hand. The child could not have been older than 4 or 5 years of age but even the child have a grim expression on his face, a cold, horrifying expression of death and evil. "Kill him, daddy" the child said. _

_"No" begged the woman; her sobs getting the better of her and making her curl over what looked like a body. _

_"You've disappointed me, Andrea." The man sighed, "Such a shame." Stop this, stop it now. Her crying, her pain; I can feel it. Don't do whatever it is you're going to do, please! Just let me wake up, I could feel the hot sticky tears streaming down my face like lava. Please! I wanted to beg for her! The man let go of the child's hand and went to stand in front of the woman, Andrea. _

_"Valentine, please!" _

_"Silence" he growled, she coward over the man's body and the man, Valentine, took out a knife. I wanted to cover my eyes, wanted to turn around and not watch but I couldn't. I was stuck in place, I couldn't even blink! He raised the knife and struck it down many times into the man's body on the floor. Andrea screamed hysterically and to silence her he brought the knife up and slit her throat; blood spraying over his clothes and even splattering against the child; his face beaming at the sight. What's wrong with him? It's sick! He's sick! _

"Sarah!" my dad's voice shouted, I sat up straight in bed and my throat cut off. I must have been screaming, probably screaming what I wished I could have screamed in my dream. No, not dream; nightmare! "Sarah, oh god; honey" my dad sighed, wrapping his arms around me, I couldn't see very well; adjusting my eyes to the light in the room was painful but I knew to wrap my arms around my dad and hug him. My breathing was diabolical. "Want to tell me about it?" dad asked, rocking me gently. I shook my head, I don't even want to remember it let alone tell him. He let me sit back and I dried my eyes, even though the tears were still falling. "It must have been terrifying" he murmured, I buried my face back into his shoulder and he continued rocking me. "It's okay, you're safe. I promise."

I stayed up for the rest of the morning with dad, we watched a few movies; drank a lot of hot chocolate. When 8am finally came, dad decided I should stay off school. Mom wasn't as impressed but dad stressed that she hadn't heard me screaming and that I was staying home with him and that's final. After Cal and my sister Harriet had left for school and my mom for work, dad finally fell asleep on the sofa and I had a shower. I dressed in my skinny black jeans, white converses and white vest top. I put my black leather jacket on and blow dried my hair curly, spraying it with hair spray. I then pulled it into a tight bobble and put some mascara on. I grabbed my bag and took my phone off charge, stuffing it into my pocket. I kissed dad's forehead on the way out and left him a note in case he woke up telling him I'd gone for a walk to clear my head. I walked to the church, remembering to take the letter I'd received with me as I wanted to ask about it. As I walked down the street, nearing the church that still looked now massive and beautiful; Simon came out to meet me.

"I'm glad you came back" he told me, I didn't reply. I was only here because I needed some answers, my nightmare last night must have something to do with all this stress now added by all my questions. "Are you feeling all right? You look tired" he commented,

"That's one way to say I look terrible" I muttered,

"That's not what I meant" he said quickly, looking alarmed. It made me smile a little; clearly he didn't get my sarcasm. "Come in" he said, stepping back; the big doors open for me to just walk through. This is it, no going back. This is it. I took a mental deep breath and followed him inside. He shut the door and I looked down the corridor; the walls were high and stone bricks. It was sort of beautiful, even just looking at it from here. "Come on" he smiled, gesturing him to follow me but not touching me again. I followed him up some stairs and looked into all of the rooms while walking past them; not quite catching anything in particular that stood out to me. We stopped at a closed door and Simon knocked gently.

"Come in" a female voice said loudly, Simon opened the door and pushed it open. He walked in first and I gently stood in behind him; staying behind him like a scared child. I shut the door behind myself and turned around, looking at the room full of people. Not totally full considering the room that looked like a study was huge, there was a big oak desk which a woman sat behind; smartly. Her eyes scanning me over, she smiled though so it wasn't as scary although I still felt scared. Standing in front of a book case was a boy with short black hair, his blue eyes staring at me in a bored expression like he wasn't really that interested in me being here. He turned back to the book shelf and took one out; flicking through the pages. Next to him was a man, caramel skin and sparkly clothes. He's definitely gay, not that it mattered. I had a gay friend at school called Chris; he didn't dress quite so daringly though. Next to the window was a boy, blonde with sharp eyes that seemed to cut through me like he was quite the opposite as the boy with black hair. His glare gave me shivers up my spine, the way he looked at me made me want to leave. Next to him was a petite girl, her red hair and gentle green eyes. She smiled at me, although I wasn't sure if she was trustworthy by the way she held the blonde boys hand. Surely if he hated me already, so should she. On the other side of the room, closest to Simon and me stood a beautiful tall girl with black hair; definitely related to the boy with black hair and the woman behind the desk. The all looked so much like each other.

"Hello, Sarah. I'm Maryse" said the woman behind the desk, I stayed quiet. I really wish Simon had just told me all of this, I felt so uncomfortable. These people, although some smiled, didn't feel particularly nice. Well, not by the specific looks at me. It all seemed put on; and that made me uneasy. "Simon says you can see through glamour" she said. Apparently so, not that I was sure what that meant; I don't want to ask my questions with these people around. "Sarah, do you know what Shadowhunter is?" Maryse asked; I shook my head automatically. My brain didn't even process the word, Shadowhunter. I felt like I should know the word but I was sure I'd never heard it before. "A Shadowhunter is a being, not human but half. Half human, half angel; so we're told" Maryse smiled, what does this have to do with me? "That's what we are" she added when I didn't respond, "And glamour is a shield we surround ourselves with so that mundanes don't see us" she explained. I was about to ask what a mundane was but she spoke again. "A mundane is a human" she said gently, okay. So these guys aren't human and I'm human but I can see through their magic cloaks?

"Okay" I said slowly, "what does that have to do with me?" I asked, sounding scared. I didn't feel that scared, having Simon here actually made me feel a whole lot better but even then; if they were going to hurt me. He'd have to be in on it too and then all I had was my hands and a bag to defend myself with.

"You're one of us" the blonde boy said impatiently, his voice like knives cutting at my throat like from my Nightmare. Not that he spoke like that man, Valentine. Even the name made me want to scream out in horror; my nightmare wasn't what I wanted to remember right now. I'm one of them, a Shadowhunter; half human, half angel. Although it sounded crazy going through my head, I was starting to believe anything right now; or more willing.

"Jace, can you wait outside please?" asked Maryse like she was about to sigh and tap her pencil against the desk, I got the impression she was tired of him or maybe just his attitude. He strode past me and straight out of the door, pulling it shut behind him. Now that he was gone, I felt a little better. A little more relaxed, even so; I felt like I could have a panic attack at any time. "Is there anything you'd like to know specifically?" Maryse asked me, I wanted to ask about my letter but I figured it was more in the moment to ask what Shadowhunters do, since I already know what they are.

"What's the purpose of Shadowhunters?" I asked, finding my voice. Maryse smiled, I was still cowering behind Simon a little. His presence, although not moving and radiating off cold was nice.

"We fight demons, keep the balance between Downworlders and ensure the safety of mundanes" she told me, so they protect humans? That's noble, I guess. "We're originally from a place called Idris, ever heard of that?" she asked me, Idris. Again something I felt like I should know but I'd never heard the words spoken to me before. Maybe in a dream, I suppose. I didn't want to tell her that though, it sounded crazy.

"No" I said gently,

"It's a country, mundanes can't go there but since the new dawn of power; all creatures are welcome. Faeries, Warlocks, Vampires, Werewolves..." she trailed off, letting me take this in. So basically all the creatures from my fairytales are real? "Sarah, I know there's a lot you need to know but can I ask about you?" Maryse asked, sitting up at her desk; looking at me curiously. I shrugged. "Have your parents ever hinted towards any of this? Ever left suggestions, made you question them?" she asked, I tried to think.

"I don't think so; we're a rather open family really. I mean, I trust them not to be lying to me" I murmured, at least I hope they're not lying to me.

"It's just having the Shadowhunter genes is genetic and well you can't be one unless one of your parents is" she explained, I nodded. I had to say it outloud, I never had before. Even though I knew, my mom; Leah, can't have children. She's never been able to have children but she and my dad adopted all three of us so young, from babies. They even have the pictures to show it, they're my parent's even if not biologically. But this could make a massive difference; if my real parents were these Shadowhunters then surely that's how I am.

"I'm adopted" I told her, "um, from 2 months so..." I trailed off,

"So your real parents are most likely Shadowhunters" Maryse stated.

"They are my real parents, Leah and Anthony. You chose your family, right? Well, they chose me. I don't care about biological stuff, that's not why I'm here" I told her, trying to close that entire conversation already. I don't want to know about people I never met, or gave me away or anything. I'm Sarah Hadley, that's who I am and I don't need closure or any of those questions answered. Maryse seemed slightly pleased with what I said but then folded her arms, loosely.

"What brought you back?" she asked, I glanced at Simon. I can't tell them about my dream, not yet anyway. I think they sensed my hesitation so I took the envelope out of my pocket. I walked swiftly over to her desk and placed it down.

"I got this two days ago" I told her, she opened it and took out the chain first; looking at it as if dazed by it's presence. She placed it down and took the note out.

"What is it?" asked the girl with black hair, even the boy; her brother, had stopped reading and was looking over at Maryse. Waiting.

"This address, whoever sent you this wanted you to come here" she said, looking up at me. "And here you are."


	4. Vampire - Chapter four

"This is the dining room and kitchen" Isabel told me, leading me through into the room. Simon was following around after me, I knew he didn't have to and the fact that he was coming willingly made me feel all tingly and light headed. Even though the entire situation was bizarre, I still couldn't get rid of the heart fluttering sensations I got when Simon spoke to me or looked at me. "Are you staying for dinner, it's nearly ready?" Isabel asked; I looked over to where a man stood cooking; he must be Robert. He looked up from t he stove and waved slightly at me with a fork in his hand.

"Um, sure" I said, not wanting to see rude. It also gave me more time to spend with Simon before I had to go home.

"Great" Isabel said happily, "I'll just go tell mom, Simon wants to talk to you anyway" she smirked like she had to announce that. She disappeared off upstairs and I turned to Simon, wondering what he was going to say. He smiled gently, his smile; that hadn't change at all.

"Come on, let's go into the garden" he said, I followed him outside into the garden and we sat down on the cut lawn. "How're you handling all of this?" he asked, looking over at me. I welcomed the slightly sunshine happily and closed my eyes, taking in the heat even if it was quite cold everywhere else.

"I think I'm doing better than you expected" I smiled a little, grinning when I saw him roll his eyes. "No but seriously, this is all so crazy. I'm glad you're here, everyone else seems so...edgy" I summed up, Simon scoffed.

"They're lovely really, they've been through a lot" he commented, "If you knew them when I first knew them, I think you'd think they were a lot nicer. But times changed and they had to grow up, especially Clary" he sighed.

"Do you still love her?" I asked, wondering. I desperately wanted him to say no but then I felt bad, Simon had every right to be in love with Clary. She was beautiful and petite, she had a special atmosphere around her and you just couldn't ignore her smile when she smiled at you; you had to smile back. Simon seemed caught off guard by the question and I noticed how his surprised look made me look away quickly.

"I'll always love Clary but not in that way, no. I'm happy for her and Jace, they're perfect together" he replied, she couldn't help the giddy feeling she felt at hearing those words.

"Jace is scary" I murmured, Simon chuckled.

"He doesn't come across very friendly, I know but he's a good guy once you get to know him" Simon smiled at me; I smiled back and looked out across the garden. It was just as pretty out here, the grass all green and the trees thick with green leaves. I wonder if Jace will let me get to know him or continue to scowl at me when I'm around, maybe I've just caught him on a bad day. I hope so. Clary seems so nice, although I have to admit for a long time I hated her; especially at school. She couldn't see how Simon looked at her, she never saw it. But I did, I saw every part of Simon; and wished he looked at me like that.

"So, tell me. Why'd you stop coming to school? I mean, a few months back; you were gone for ages. I thought you'd dropped out with Clary and then all of a sudden you were back" I mumbled, not wanting to look at him seriously because I knew I'd go red, most people don't care.

"I didn't think anyone had noticed" he grinned lightly,

"I noticed" I replied seriously, he didn't speak for a few long seconds after that and I really wished I hadn't said anything. He probably thinks I'm got a pathetic crush on him now; I wouldn't be surprised if he ran off and didn't come back to the Institute while I was around. The last guy who found out I was crushing on him publically humiliated me by fake asking me to prom and then laughing in my face and throwing a chocolate milkshake over my head. I didn't go back into school for days and when I did, I kept my head down completely.

"When Clary found out what she was, everything changed for the both of us. I was just there, I was never meant to know any of this and then..." he trailed off,

"And then?" I asked, turning and looking at him.

"And then I was changed into a vampire" he said, watching me carefully as he said those words. He's a vampire? Really?! I wasn't sure how I was meant to react; did that mean he wanted to suck my blood? It would explain why he's so pale and cold to touch.

"Wasn't expecting that" I told him honestly, he smiled a little.

"I haven't told many people from my human life, not even my parents yet" he sighed, "but it's different I guess, you're not human. You'd have found out eventually" he muttered. Well thanks; I guess that means I'm not special enough for him to just tell me out of truth of wanting to tell me. He hardly knows me, I guess I should just accept that he doesn't want to know me and this entire thing that I want to be there between us will never be there. He only has eyes for beautiful girls like Clary and Isabel.

"So how does that work? Do you like kill humans or mundanes, whatever you guys call them?" I asked; he frowned; I guess he doesn't like that I even have to ask.

"I don't hurt humans nor kill them; I try to survive on animal blood" he explained, I smirked.

"Twilight moment" I said, he rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"I should have known you're into stuff like that" he murmured, I grinned.

"Do you twinkle too?" I asked, edging closer to him in a patronizing way.

"No, I do not sparkle. Although I can go out in day light but that's just me, I drank Jace's blood a while back and since he's more angel; his blood made me able to be a Day walker" he explained, oh. Jace is more angel than the rest of them? I wonder what happened there, I'm sure I'll be told on a later date though.

"I'm glad, I've missed you Simon" I told him, he didn't reply. I smirked, of course he didn't. He probably hadn't even though about me once like ever. He never noticed me; he'd never miss me ever. "Come on," I said awkwardly, wanting to move things along. "I think we best get back" I added. I stood up and he got up after me, I led us back inside and I found everyone in the kitchen, waiting to sit down at the table.

"Did he tell you?" Isabel asked, intrigued; she came over to Simon and me.

"Of course I told her, she'd have found out anyway" Simon muttered, rolling his eyes. I stuffed my hands into my leather jacket and felt my phone. I took it out, looking down at my messages. 2 from Jess and 1 from dad; I opened the one from dad first.

Dad: Hey, hope you're all right and your walk is helping. I'll call you soon, love you kiddo x

I smiled to myself and then opened Jess's messages;

Jess: You're not in...?

Jess: Where are you?! You ditched my after school yesterday and now you're ditching me today. I'm not impressed, Sari.

I didn't bother replying to her, she could wait. I put my phone back in my pocket and let Isabel steer me to a seat and I sat down. Clary was directly opposite me with Jace on her left and Alec on her left; next to him was Magnus. Simon sat down next to me on my right and Isabel was on my left. Maryse sat down on the other side of Simon and Robert was at the head of the table on my left. We had food to choose from all set out in front of us, there was so much choice. The only time my family ever ate like this was at Christmas, it was so strange. I mainly took vegetables and a little bit of meat; not really feeling hungry and I knew I'd be eating when I got home too. I was nearly finished when dad rang me, it interrupted Alec and Jace's brother bashing conversation going on which Simon, Clary and Magnus seemed to find funny.

"Excuse me" I said, I stood up and went out into the hall. I pressed answer and put the phone to my ear. "Hey dad" I said, hoping that he wouldn't be able to hear the background noise of everyone but they were quiet; well they were from out here.

"Hey kiddo, how're you feeling?" he asked, he sounded worried as always. I wish he wasn't, he should be asleep. He still has to go to work tonight; he must be shattered after staying up most of the night with me after he got home.

"I'm okay" I told him, I felt a lot better I had to admit.

"Good, are you still out?" he asked,

"I'm at Jess's" I lied, just to make him feel more assured. He'd be making tea right about now and putting it away from me to heat up when I wanted it. I could hear Callum and Harriet's bickering in the background, I smiled a little.

"Oh okay, well don't stay out too late. Your mom's still ill, still in bed. I'm going to the chemist to get her some flu relief" he explained, I hope she feels better soon. I hate it when mom's ill but it was sort of lucky for me, she'd never let me stay out if she was feeling better. She liked me to be home straight away from school and doing all my homework and then spending time with her, I usually just watched some TV with her before going to my room and listening to music. It made her happy so I guess that's what counted.

"I won't, and okay. Do you need me to get anything for you?" I asked, anything to help dad out really.

"No, it's all right. Look I was wondering if I could book you into talk to someone" he said, slowly. I'd heard a lot of pretty weird things all day but this took me most by surprised.

"You want me to get a councillor?" I asked, shocked.

"Just to get things off your chest, sweetheart; I know there are things you don't want to talk to me or your mom about but you really need to get it out. That dream last night-"

"It was just a dream, I have loads of dreams. It doesn't mean I'm crazy" I said defensively,

"I'm not saying you are" dad sighed, "I'm worried about you."

"I know" I frowned, "I'm okay though, really. School's just really stressful at the moment but I'll pull through, I always do. I don't need to talk to anyone, I promise. If I feel like I can't handle things, I'll come tell you. I swear" I told him,

"Okay, honey" dad said gently, "Look I have to go, Cal and Ari are at it again. I'll see you later" he said.

"Okay, I'll see you later" I murmured,

"Bye." I hung up after he said that and sighed, a councillor huh? I leaned against the wall, maybe that's exactly what I need though. Everything seems to be getting really farfetched at the moment, someone to talk to might be just what I need but I couldn't tell them about all of this and they have ways of getting into your head. What if I let something slip? It wasn't worth this secret, I'll cope. I know I will, I always do; at least I think I do.


	5. Breathing - Chapter five

_"Can we kill her, daddy?" asked the boy, standing over me. Was I lying down? Why would I be lying down? Why this time? He looked down at me though with pure black eyes, a terrifying smirk on his face as he twisted his hair in between his fingers. _

_"No, we'll leave her in the mundane world. Let them have her, she's of no used to us" the man said, coming over and standing above me too. Well, what felt like me. _

_"But daddy" whined the child, what kind of child could only want to kill? There's something seriously messed up with this kid. _

_"No, Jonathan. That's enough" the man said sternly, he walked away and the child sulked; looking at me. He glanced up as his father left and then grinned; he held his hands out to me. Placing them around my neck, I knew that logically his hands would be way too small and way too weak to be able to do me any damage. But it seemed to cut off my breathing and the more I tried to wring free, the less I could feel the burning sensation in my lungs. Let go of me! Please!_

And then it all faded out of vision, when I woke up my dad was standing over me; his face struck with horror as he clutched a phone to his ear.

"Dad" I breathed, my lungs aching. I tried to sit up but my head ached so I stayed where I was.

"Oh thank God!" dad breathed out, "she's awake. Of course, I'll bring her in immediately" he told whoever was on the phone. Dad dropped down and hugged me tightly, tears falling from his eyes as he held me tightly.

"Dad, what's wrong?" I asked; my breathing going back to normal. I sat up and hugged him back; I can't remember the last time I ever saw my dad cry. It wasn't a nice sight or sound, it made my heart ache. Don't be sad. "Dad, I'm fine. I swear" I told him, smiling slightly. He looked up into my face as he dropped his phone and he placed his hand on my cheek. I smiled a little and he kissed my forehead shakily before hugging me tightly again. What happened? Why is he so distraught? When dad had calmed down he put his dressing gown around me and got my flat shoes from me, he took me out to his police car and I climbed in. We drove to the Hospital with just the sound of the radio on, dad held my hand tightly the entire ride and kept glancing at me to make sure I was still breathing. Apparently whilst in the middle of crying out, I just stopped breathing all together while dad was trying to wake me up from my nightmare. I wanted to rub my neck, thinking back to my dream but I couldn't tell dad about that. It'd make no sense; I surely couldn't be killed from a dream. Maybe it's just my mind, maybe the dream felt so real that my lungs just gave out. And when my brain finally woke up, they just kick started back up. Well, that's all I can think of as a logical explanation anyway. Unless this links in with me being a Shadowhunter, could someone actually kill me through my dreams? Dad parked in the car park and I walked inside with him, his arm around my shoulder; keeping me at his side. I'd never seen dad so frightened, we went into A and E and they did some tests on me. They said all my vitals were fine and my blood pressure was normal, I knew that they couldn't do a blood test on me; that'd tell them I was abnormal and the Institute couldn't have that. So when dad went to pressure them to take blood samples, I just told him I was fine and that it wasn't needed. He didn't seem impressed but I gave him a pleading look and he sighed, he hugged me tightly and the doctor's said I could go home but if there was another case of it or I felt dizzy or anything; I was to come back in immediately. "It's probably because I haven't been eating much" I told dad on the drive home, "I just never really feel hungry so I forget to eat meals and well, that could make me feel faint and dizzy. And they say your body works a lot when you're asleep, my body might just not have any energy to go on" I shrugged, dad knew I was just trying to give him so piece of mind but he didn't look convinced.

"Are you warm enough?" he asked, I nodded. His dressing gown was very warm and big on me, I could snuggle into it and it smelled just like him which made me feel relaxed. When we got home, dad set up the sofa bed and we watched some films together. We both fell back asleep; I was woken up by Harriet in the morning.

"Are you going in today?" She asked me, I shook my head knowing dad wouldn't be letting me out of his sight today.

"Dad had to take me to A and E last night" I told her while making her some coffee.

"Really?" she asked shocked, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. But dad's really worried so..." I trailed off, she frowned.

"He's missing a lot of sleep lately" she murmured, I know. I felt awful by taking up so much of his time, this isn't what he needs right now. And the way Harriet said it sounded so accusingly. Almost like I was doing all of this on purpose, well she would think that. Harriet and I are completely opposites, she prefers mom and puts on this pretend attitude around mom and dad to make them like her and then becomes this bitch at school whereas I just come straight out with things. Mom hates that I don't even try sometimes; dad says he likes how honest I am. Harriet thinks dad prefers me out of us three, and sometimes I even think so too but I know dad's too nice to have a favourite. He loves all three of us to pieces.

"I'm going to stay in bed today but if he needs anything, I'll do it. Try and make him stay in bed" I smirked, knowing how difficult it is to make dad do anything.

"It's my job to look after you" dad groaned as he padded into the kitchen, his hair a mess and his eyes practically closed. I grinned but Harriet rolled her eyes and ate her toast silently. "How're you feeling, sweetheart?" he asked, he kissed me on the forehead and went to put some bread in the toaster. I placed Harriet's coffee down on the table and made dad one, taking small sips of my own.

"I'm okay, tired but okay" I told him, "How're you?"

"Still an emotional wreck, you scared the shit out of me last night" he sighed; he came back over to me and pulled me into a big bear hug. I smiled, he was incredibly warm and I enjoyed being hugged.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled, I really was. I didn't mean to scare him so much, I didn't even intend on what happened. I was worried though too, what if it happens again tonight? What if I'm actually killed in my sleep? I really need to talk to Maryse about this, it could kill me.

"It's not your fault kiddo" he said gently, "but you have to tell me if you feel dizzy or anything, no messing me around" he smiled pulling back.

"Never" I said, he got his toast and buttered it. I put his coffee next to him on the bench and continued sipping my own. When Cal and Harriet went off to school, mom appeared in her dressing gown with an empty coffee mug in one hand and a cold hot water bottle in the other. She looked incredibly ill and her hair looked like it'd been purposely back combed.

"I'll do that" I told her, taking the mug and the hot water bottle. I emptied the hot water bottle and filled the kettle up before washing her mug out and putting some coffee, sugar and a bit of milk into it.

"Are you feeling any better?" dad asked her, hugging her gently; she groaned in response. "That's not good, I'll go put a bath on for you, baby" he said, he kissed her gently before sitting her down at the table and disappearing out of the room.

"Why aren't you on your way to school?" Mom asked, looking at her watch and rubbing her face. I turned to her and smiled a little; she looked so tired and fed up. I hate being ill too, it sucks!

"Dad took me to A and E last night" I told her, she blinked a few times before a big frown crossed her face. Dad came back into the kitchen and went back to his toast and coffee.

"Why? Is everything all right? Why didn't you wake me up?" Mom asked, staggering up and coming over to me. She looked me over and I grinned, I gave her a gentle hug and pulled back.

"I feel fine" I assured her,

"What happened?" she asked dad, going back to her chair.

"She just stopped breathing" dad told her, mom frowned deeper. "The doctor said she seemed all right though but if she feels any worse or it happens again, I have to take her straight back" dad added,

"That's not good enough; they should be making sure it doesn't happen again. You could end up..." mom trailed off, she didn't want to say the word though. Dead. I know; it's pretty serious.

"I know but like I said, I feel fine. I should be fine, I'll tell you if I feel any different" I smiled, but I didn't feel fine. I mean physically yeah but I felt terrified. I really need to go talk to Simon or Maryse or even Isabel, someone needs to help me. I finished having breakfast with dad, mom had her bath and went back to bed after checking my blood pressure herself and my temperature. I gave her a new hot water bottle and some flu relief; it felt weird taking care of mom and not having her take care of me but I liked it. I was here for her and she was here for me, dad made me watch another film with him and it wasn't till the end that he fell asleep. It was nearly 11 now; I took a quick shower and pulled my hair into a bun before dressing in black sweatpants, trainers and my white vest top again. I put my black hoody on and took my phone, I shouldn't be long. I wrote a note for dad saying I was going to get more milk and that I wouldn't be long for when he woke up, after I emptied half a litre of milk down the drain of course. What they didn't know didn't hurt them and of course, I was paying for the new carton of milk.


	6. Worries - Chapter six

I knocked on the door, glancing up and down the street. Nobody was around luckily, the door opened and Isabel smiled at me. "Hey, Sarah" she said happily. I smiled and I followed her inside, I went up to Maryse's office immediately and knocked on it lightly, hoping I wasn't disturbing her. It was silent for a while and then I heard her say 'come in'. I went inside and saw Jace standing by the window, he looked stressed and once again he scowled at me when I looked over at him; rude much? I ignored him though, it was quite clear we weren't going to be friends and that was okay.

"Hello Sarah, what can I do for you?" she asked, smiling gently. Clearly whatever was upsetting Jace wasn't upsetting her; and if it was she was brilliant at hiding it.

"Can I talk to you?" I asked, hoping the 'alone' bit was implied. She nodded, Jace took his leave and I walked over to the desk. I wished there was a chair here but standing was just as good, she waited. "For the past two nights I've had really...well scary dreams" I told her, "and last night, in my dream, I felt like I was being strangled. Only when I woke up, my dad was panicked and was on the phone to an ambulance. He said I'd stopped breathing for about 6 minutes" I told her, she frowned.

"You were being strangled in your dream?" she asked concerned, I nodded.

"By a child, he couldn't have been that old; 4 maybe 5" I sighed, it felt weird talking to someone about this. But I was glad she hadn't just laughed at me,

"What did he look like?" she asked, did it matter? I didn't say that though, she wanted to know the details exactly and I could tell her. Couldn't I?

"I'm not completely sure; all my dreams seem to feel sort of blurry when I think back on them even though they feel so real at the time. I remember the man with him more; he was dressed in complete black and had cold eyes. The child, his eyes were black" I told her. She frowned, seeming to get a clear imagine in her head.

"Were there any names mentioned?"

"Yes, Jonathan and..." I trailed off trying to think, what was his name? "I can't remember" I muttered, shaking my head. She looked confused, worried and angry at the same time.

"Valentine" she said, it wasn't a question though. She was telling me who he was, and then it clicked in my head. Yes, that's his name. At least I think it is. "Come with me, we'll need to see Magnus. He might be able to see if there's some sort of spell on you that might be shielding any memories from you like Clary's mother did with her" she sighed, she stood up and led me out of her room. We walked along a long corridor, again passed many rooms that I could only glance into. When we got to Alec's room, Maryse knocked loudly and Alec opened it. Clearly not expecting it to be his mother, he was wearing a robe. "Put some clothes on Alec, I need to talk to Magnus" she told him, his face red. Magnus appeared behind him, dressed in a purple suit jacket; white unbuttoned shirt and pink boxer shorts. His hair messy but still covered in glitter.

"Yes?" he asked, it was strange to think he was a Warlock. He still didn't look that different to me than a man who simply loved glitter. I wondered if there was glamour on him but I doubted it, I think everyone else saw him the same way.

"I need you to check Sarah over, make sure there are no spells on her" Maryse told him, he looked intrigued as he stared passed her and at me. He came out of Alec's room and led me off to the living room, once inside. He turned the TV off and Jace and Clary looked up from the other sofa; I sat down. Magnus placed both hands on my head and I waited, I had no idea what he was doing but he seemed to be trying something and then it was like an image of him walking through my head; no visible but I could sort of feel it. If that makes sense,

"Is there anything I'm looking for?" he asked Maryse,

"I'm not sure, spells; anything. Trying curses too" she replied, I could have a curse on me.

"What's going on, Maryse?" Jace asked, Maryse didn't reply to him. Magnus kept searching for a good few minutes and when he stood back; he turned to look at her and shrugged.

"There's nothing on her mind that I can detect" he told her, that's a good thing right? I really don't want any curses on me. "Anything else?" he asked, Maryse shook her head and Magnus left the room; probably going back to Alec.

"What was that all about?" Jace asked,

"I was just making sure" Maryse murmured to him, he frowned at the lack of information.

"I should really get home; if my dad's woken up he'll be worried about me. I said I was only going for milk in my note" I explained to her, she nodded and continued to frown.

"I don't really want to leave you alone tonight though, just in case. Would you mind if Isabel came to stay over at your house? Just to keep an eye on things?" she asked, I suppose I can tell my dad something. I doubt he'd care if we just stayed in my room, I'll tell him she's there to distract me from school and stuff and that I'm hoping it will make my nightmares go away. Even though I'd only have two, I felt like I'd been having them for years. It was disconcerting and made me feel sick, like a worried sick.

"Sure" I replied, she sighed.

"All right, I'll go and tell her. Chill for a while, I'll be back" she smiled, trying to make me feel better I guess but she didn't look very happy. She left the room and I looked at Clary; avoiding eye contact with Jace. He made me uncomfortable.

"Everything all right?" she asked me, I nodded.

"Just killer bad dreams" I smirked, "no big deal." I knew she got the sarcasm; she still smiled though; acknowledging I was telling it like a joke.

"Why does she want to know if you've been put under any spells or curses?" Jace asked, still I didn't look at him; instead I looked around the large living room with a high ceiling and massive window that looked out over the garden area.

"I'm not sure. She seemed concerned over something, maybe you should go and ask her" I replied, sounding emotionless. He left the room and Clary came to sit next to me.

"Sorry about Jace, he's just stressed that's all" she smiled gently, aren't we all? I wanted to ask what about but figured it was none of my business; he probably doesn't want me knowing. "So how're you feeling?" she asked, everyone seemed to question that lately.

"I'm dealing with everything all right I guess. It's weird, like when I'm back at home everything still feels normal. And then when I'm here, it's like stepping into a completely different world" I breathed out, gesturing to this place as I spoke about it.

"Yeah, it's definitely a lot to digest" she smirked, looking around the living room. I hadn't really been told a lot about Clary, I remembered her from school but I even noticed what Simon had said about her maturing a lot. She was one of these guys now, even she intimidated me. I just wanted to be part of the clan and I knew I wouldn't be. Alec, Isabel and Jace belonged because they're family; children of Maryse and Robert. Clary and Magnus belonged because they were dating Jace and Alec. Simon belonged because he was Clary's best friend. And here I was, not belonging at all. I wonder what will happen with me, will it just be like this from now on? Coming here instead of school and lying to my parents about where I was? I hoped not, I was never good at lying and as soon as mom got better it'd be increasingly difficult to sneak out of the house. Although I don't mind about missing school, I hate that place.

"Mm" I murmured, "So is there like any books I can read up on? Get the jist of all this?" I asked, she smirked and nodded; she sat back and made herself comfortable and I realised how tired she looked. Just then, she yawned.

"Yeah, there's the books in Maryse's study and then there's a library where you can go and read" she told me, cool. I'll go and find some books at some point, know the history so I don't feel like I'm the only person around here who knows nothing.

"Hey, I heard we're having a girly night" grinned Isabel walking into the room with a bag in one hand and a pair of heals in the other.


	7. Sleep over - Chapter seven

Dad wasn't totally convinced about my 'girly night', so it took some persuading but he finally got on board when I told him Isabel was a close friend from school and that I tell her all my worries and problems and that her dad's a doctor therefore she'll know what to do if I stop breathing again. He came and checked on us every two hours though. It wasn't till I was lying down in bed next to Isabel that Simon came into my thoughts. He said he was glad Clary had Jace now; does that mean he's not interested? Or was he just saying that because he had to? Maybe he does still love her but he loves her enough to be happy for her. I wish I could do that, I just feel so over protective of him like he's mine and everyone else should just back off. Not that I've ever shown these feelings, let alone told anyone about them. If I so much as mention Simon to Jess now, she goes off into a rant and I zone out. I wish she'd see how painful it already is for me.

"So, I don't really know much about you. Simon said you were his friend from school" Isabel said to break the silence, even though I'd been quite comfortable with it; it still made the room sound suddenly loud like it needed to be broken. That's nice of Simon; really he should have just been honest though.

"Simon didn't really know who I was until a few days ago, he used to be friends with my sister" I told her, trying to hide my sadness at the fact. I remember when I used to sneak out of my room and go and sit with her and Simon while they watched scary films. Harriet's only a year older than me but you wouldn't think it, my parents still treat me like I'm 10 years old. I suppose they had the right to then though, I'm very impressionable and I had nightmares for weeks afterwards which I of course knew was my own fault.

"Were they dating?" she asked, I frowned. I really hope not, I mean they could have been but even Harriet said he only ever had eyes for Clary; she was all he ever talked about.

"I don't think so" I muttered,

"You like him" she commented, not a question but I still felt like I should answer it like one. I wasn't sure how to reply, if I admitted it; she might tell him and I don't want things to get really awkward. And if I denied it then he might just friend zone me even more than he already has. I stayed quiet and she laughed lightly. "Knew it, don't worry though; it can be our little secret" she said, I had a feeling she was smiling. Well, good; I think. Nothing has to change, well nothing between Simon and me anyway. I rolled over and continued to stay silent, I watched as the moonlight flickered through my bedroom window; breaking through the tree branches.

_"Jarred, let's just go home" Andrea sighed, standing behind Jarred. He's alive in this dream? This must be before they go to meet Valentine and his evil child. I stood, well it felt like I was standing, watching them from an angle. He was wearing blue faded jeans with a black t-shirt and grey coat. She was wearing a red dress with red heals and a white coat. The both looked completely normal, like totally normal people. I knew they weren't though, they had to be Shadowhunters. Or maybe they're not. I don't know. _

_"We can't Andrea, we have Alexis to think about now" Jarred frowned, he turned to her. His face was one of a complete stranger, I've never seen him nor her ever before in my life, I'm sure of it. "Maybe you should go to her, I'll talk to Valentine" he said gently, touching the side of her face in affection. She shook her head. _

_"No, we got together" she said, smiling a little. She looked a bit older than him but maybe that was just his make-up. Her black hair cascaded down her back; pushed back with a red hair band. Very stylish, I guess. He looked tired, a little shabby too. His stubble coming in on his cheeks and chin, his eyes had bags underneath them and he looked like he was sweating. With nerves I guess. I wish I could change things, tell them to go home instead of inside the building. That this 'Alexis' need them and if they went in there they'd die! _

_"All right then, come on. Don't want to keep him waiting" Jarred said, his voice quivered but his face was still gentle and smiling. He took hold of her hand tightly and turned around, leading her off towards the damp looking building which made me shiver from just the sight of it. I wanted to shout at them, get them to turn around. I didn't want to witness this all over again. They didn't deserve to die! _

I opened my eyes slowly, the black room silent. I mustn't have been screaming tonight, that's a good thing right? I sat up and stretched, the sun was shining through the window. Not very bright though, clouds had swarmed the sky, like a blanket; I suppose I should really go back to school today. I turned to see if Isabel was still asleep but she wasn't. She was sitting up, on top of the blanket with her back against the wall reading my Angel book.

"Morning" was all she said as I stared at her, she looked as perfect as she did yesterday. I wish I looked like that, although she didn't actually sound like she'd been to sleep at all.

"Did I sleep okay?" I asked her, she smirked.

"You should be the one telling me. You were talking in your sleep all night, repeating the same thing over and over. I actually wanted to suffocate you myself at one point but I figured I shouldn't" she said, looking at me. I would have laughed or smiled at that but she said it so seriously that I wanted to cower away from her.

"What did I say?"

"Don't go in there" she muttered, "over and over and over, I wanted to shout it along with you to make the people in your dream listen. I have a headache from it too, my brain is literally repeating it now" she sighed, shaking her head. She folded the page down in my book and I resisted the urge to snatch it out of her hands and smooth it over. I hate when people do that, it's not even her book either. "I'm going to go, it's been really fun. Is it okay if I borrow this? Thanks" she said quickly getting up, I didn't say anything. At least I wasn't screaming, hopefully dad had a good night sleep; I even felt a bit more rested. I took a long bath and relaxed before putting my grey Jeggings on with my white t-shirt that hand small birds printed it all over it. I pulled my black UGG boots on and grabbed my school bag, on the way to the kitchen; I applied some mascara and smiled at Harriet and Cal sitting at the breakfast table.

"You're actually going in today, I'm impressed" Harriet said sarcastically, she got up as I sat down and I pulled some toast towards myself. I rolled my eyes dismissively and she left the room, Cal and I ate in silence. He looked spaced out or just tired, whereas I just liked the silence. I always did in the morning, it made me feel calm like I could wake up slowly. After breakfast, I walked to school alone. Cal walked a bit of the way with me but then caught up with his friends and got the bus from their stop. As I neared the school gates, I saw Clary standing with Jess. She's back at school? What's she doing here? Even with her hair in a lose bobble and her clothes all creased and too big on her; she still looked like one of those models off the TV. She fit right into the Shadowhunter clan at the Institute, even looked the part. She crossed the road as I got closer, not even looking at me. I stopped in front of Jess and her confused expression turned into an angry one.

"So, you're actually going to bother with me now then?" she asked, folding her arms.

"I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you, Jess. I haven't been feeling well" I lied, she frowned and sighed.

"Could have at least texted me, I've been really worried" she muttered. Looking around at all the people walking past us like she was looking for someone; I wanted to know what Clary had said to her.

"What did Clary say?" I asked, following her inside the car park. She sighed.

"I was just filling her in on the homework we have for English, apparently Simon needs to know what it is and when it's in for" she told me, homework? Why would Clary be the one to come and ask? And Simon probably doesn't even care about homework; he's a vampire for Christ's sake.

"Oh, okay" I replied, trying not to sound interested.


	8. Scream - Chapter eight

I hadn't been back to the Institute in about 2 weeks, I'd gotten back into my school routine and tried to ignore my thoughts and feelings for Simon. Dad was planning on a camping trip at the weekend but my mom was too busy with work and my sister had come down with mom's flu so it looked like it was just going to be Cal, dad and me. I didn't mind that, I preferred the guys in our family. They didn't whine as much or tell me off or really talk as much either. I was helping dad put the food cooler in the back of the car when Isabel appeared out of nowhere on the sidewalk. She smiled at me as she got closer and I glanced at dad, clearly he knew she was there. Which was a good thing, lying to my dad is getting a bit hard lately since he wants to know everything and anything to make sure I'm not going to go unconscious again. He thinks there's something troubling me, I'm not even sure if my dreams are linked to anything in my life. It could just be my sub consciousness getting creative.

"Hey Sarah" Isabel said,

"Hey" I replied, not sure whether I should smile or not.

"I'll just go get the rest of the things" dad said before going back inside, I turned back to Isabel once he was gone and waited. There had to be a reason for her being here.

"What's up?" I asked,

"Nothing; was just checking up on you. Haven't see you in a while" she shrugged, she was wearing a long purple dress that looked kind of baggy on her; not the most flattering thing she's ever worn around me but she still looked more flawless. "My mom was getting worried you weren't going to come back" she added, watching me carefully.

"In all honestly, I'm not sure I will. I don't to be one of you guys, I like my life the way it is" I replied, making sure the back of the car was tidy so dad could fit more things into it.

"You can't choose, Sarah. You are one of us; your blood is Shadowhunter blood. You can't escape that, not matter how hard you try to ignore us" Isabel sighed, leaning against the car. "Look, I know it's strange and pretty out of the blue but we have questions and you have questions; why don't we find the answers together?" she asked. I suppose that made sense but still, I wasn't even sure my questions were the right ones. They might not have any relevance to this at all; I still wasn't totally convinced I wasn't going round the bend.

"I'll come and see you guys when I get back" I told her, she looked into the car at all our things.

"Camping, huh?" she asked, I nodded and closed the boot which was now completely full of things.

"Just for a few days, dad said it might clear our heads" I told her,

"Sounds good to me, well I'll see you then. Have fun" she smiled, she walked back off down the street and I turned to see dad coming out with the last of the things in his hands. I helped me get them into the back of the car and then I climbed into the front, making myself comfortable. I took my iPod out of my jacket and put one earphone in, playing 'Wrong Impression' by Natalie Imbruglia. Cal got into the back, already plugged into his Psp; I could hear the low noises of Mario out of his headphones. Dad finally got in and smiled at me, I smiled back and he got himself settled. Putting the radio onto the sports station, he put his seatbelt on and pulled out. I put my other earphone in and turned my music up to get rid of the sports station; it bores me.

It took a few hours to get out of the city and onto the motorway; we stopped off at a service station and had some lunch. I had fish and chips, dad had steak and chips and Cal had gone to McDonalds and got his food from there. We talked about animals and weird conversations that I'd never usually appreciate but after such a strange few weeks; it was nice for things to go back to normal. When we were back on the road, I continued with my Natalie Imbruglia list of songs but changed my track to 'Shiver'. It was about 5pm when we eventually arrived at the camp site, not many people were here but it was nice enough to look at and there were some patches of trees dad and I could go and explore together. He parked the car on the grass and I climbed on, the stretching of my legs was much needed! I helped dad unpack and watched from the car while dad and Cal put the tent up, it was almost funny watching them mess it up so much but I was getting cold and just wanted them to hurry up. Once it was up and we were all settled inside of it with all our things, dad warmed some soup on our little camping stove and we listened to Cal tell a seriously stupid ghost story. I ended up laughing so hard at the end I spilt my soup over my t-shirt.

I stretched out on my airbed and sighed, Cal was snoring in the conpartment next to me. Dad was tossing and turning and I just felt calm. It was cold, sure and my sleeping bag felt like it had sand in it but it was nice. No cars going past, not wind, no disturbances. I just wanted to go to sleep knowing I'd have calm dreams too but I was worried, what if I end up screaming out here? It'll ruin dad's trip and probably scare the crap out of Cal. I stayed up as late as I could manage, staring at the string hanging from the ceiling of my conpartment; but eventually my eyes started to blur and my eyes fluttered. I did try hard, even rolled over and hit myself in the face a few times but eventually sleep took over.

_I was standing outside of the tent, watching the evil child unzip the main conpartment and crawl inside. It was almost like I'd followed him inside; I was allowed to move now? I watched as he looked at the three compartments, he walked over to my dad's and listened. Then to mine and listened, he reached for the zip and then stopped. He smiled and turned around. He walked straight over to Cal's and unzipped it quickly. I looked at my brother, sleeping peacefully. _

_"Stop" I said, the boy stopped in his tracks and smiled up at me. "Get out of here" I told him sternly, "get out!" He didn't move though, instead he pulled out a small blade from his pocket; a child's sized knife. I don't think I'd ever seen one like that before, and not so small. He stepped inside my brother's conpartment, I moved forward; reaching my arms around to grab him but my arms went straight through. He made a strange noise like 'tut tut tut'. I scowled; he turned the small knife over in his hands and jerked it into Callum's ankle. He cried out in pain, in horror as he somehow didn't see the child and was looking straight at me. "Callum" I cried, "please, stop. Stop hurting him, please" I begged as the child brought his knife up again and stabbed his calf then his thigh. It was life Callum was unable to get up and push the brat away. I clawed at him and screamed in frustration. _

_"Sarah, stop it" Callum cried, me stop it? I'm not doing anything! _

"Sarah, Sarah put it down" dad's voice said; I felt like I'd just opened my eyes properly. I wasn't in bed through; I was kneeling over Callum with a pocket knife in my hand. "Sarah" dad said calmly, Callum was just staring at me horrified. I'd made a tiny cut on his ankle, hardly even there but still. I was about to stab my own brother. I could have really hurt him. I let dad take the knife from me and I fell back onto my ass, staring at my hands. I'd cut my hands more than anything.

"What the hell?" shouted Callum angrily,

"Stop it Callum, Sarah come on" dad said sternly, he pulled me up under my arms and pulled my hands which really stung. I winced and clenched my teeth, following after him. He took me out to the car and I climbed into the back. He got in next to me and examined my hands.

"My nightmares are turning me into a murderer" I muttered, swallowing tears.

"Nonsense" dad hushed, "you were just sleep walking" he added. He washed my hands with some face wipes and got the healthy and safety equipment box from the boot. He put band aids on the cuts and sighed. Any further up and I could have slit my own wrists. Dad looked stressed, tired and anxious. "Maybe this was a bad idea, the entire change of scene might have just made your dreams worse" he frowned; I cuddled into his arm feeling scared. Why me of all people? Why couldn't it be Harriet who was becoming a psycho?

"I'm sorry" I whispered, I knew he'd heard me though. He hugged me tightly and sighed.

"Come on, let's go home" he said gently, he kissed the top of my head and I got into the front. It didn't take the guys as long to throw everything into the back of the car and pull the tent down. They didn't even bother to fold anything up. Callum didn't speak to me about what had happened, he didn't even comment. I'm pretty sure he fell asleep on the way back too, when dad pulled up on to the sidewalk of our block of apartments. I climbed out and watched dad, he prodded Callum in the back. Instead of waiting for them, I went straight up to the apartment and frowned. The door was open but not wide; I pushed it open slowly and stepped inside. Everything seemed as it was before we left, even the television was still on. Surely they'd have turned it off by now? I sighed; I wished we'd have stayed away longer. I didn't want to be home but then again, it's my own fault we're back. I must be driving dad up the walls with all this. I went to the kitchen and put the kettle on, hearing dad and Callum in the hall. I sighed, rubbing my temples and going to my room. Inside, my room was a mess. Books on the floor, my laptop smashed to hell, bed sheets and clothes ripped. What the hell? Why would someone to this to my stuff? I stepped back out and went along to Harriet's room. "Sarah, check on your mother" dad called from the kitchen. Leaving Harriet's room alone, I walked slowly towards mom and dad's room.

"Mom" I said gently, loud enough for anyone to hear if they were awake inside. I turned the door knob and pushed the door open, a chill hit me and I shivered. It's not the time of year to leave your window open, mom. I walked into her room, turning the light on and going to the window. I closed it quickly and looked out at the street; it was deserted and dark with practically any street lamps on. I turned around and sucked in a breath. All I could hear was a high pitched scream in my ears, and it wasn't till dad came running in that I realised it was me.


	9. Mom - Chapter nine

Dad was horrified, frozen at the sight. I couldn't look, my throat wrenched and my stomach flipped. Callum came towards the room but dad backed him out, his face a white sheet. He held his hand out to me and I moved quickly; wanting to be away from the blood and bits. "What's wrong?"

"Go back to the car, Callum" dad ordered, "Sarah, you too" he said. Callum did as he was told but I pushed past dad and went along to Harriet's room. "Sarah, don't." I pushed the door open and looked around, my eye's settling on Harriet's body on the floor. I dropped down and rolled her over, she was still breathing; that much was clear.

"Dad, call an ambulance" I called; dad was at the door in seconds. He dropped down next to me, stroking Harriet's hair out of her bloody face. He fumbled for his phone as I looked over her; it wasn't till I looked at her arm that I realised. This isn't a human attack. It can't be, her wound was bruising purple and swelling. I need to get her to Maryse; she'll know what to do. Dad was about to put the phone to his ear when I swatted it out of his hands. "Forget that, I need your help" I told him, he looked shocked.

"Sarah, she needs a hospital" he said, sounding angry.

"And we'll take her to one, you have to trust me dad" I said, pleading. He didn't look sure; in fact he looked very far from sure. "Come on, we need to get her to the car" I said, not wasting time. Dad carried her down to the car and I got into the driver's seat, dad didn't question it as he got into the back, squishing Callum. I drove to the institute as fast as I could, darting out of the seat without turning the engine off. I banged on the door to the institute and the doors opened.

"What are we doing here?" dad asked, his anger showing more now. They couldn't see it, they had to!

"Bring her in" I said, although I could see the hesitation; dad carried her inside the Institute and Callum ran in afterwards. I closed the doors and watched them lock. "SIMON" I shouted, my voice echoing through the halls of the institute.

"This can't be the inside of the church; it's massive and well...nice" Callum stammered, dad heaved a grunt. He clearly wasn't used to carrying the weight of us now we're older. I hope she's not too heavy for him. Simon appeared at the top of the stairs, and stared at us with wide eyes. He took Harriet from my dad and we followed after him up to the hospital type ward, Simon placed her down on a bed and my dad and Callum stood next to her.

"I'll get Magnus, go to Maryse. Tell her what's happened" Simon told me, I nodded. Not looking back, I parted with them and sprinted through the halls. I wasn't sure how to get there from here but I managed to get to the kitchen so I took the route to the library. Luckily Maryse's office wasn't that much further, I banged on the door. I didn't wait for someone to answer; I opened the door and burst in. Maryse, Robert, Jace, Alec and Isabel looked up at me.

"Sarah, what's the matter?" Maryse asked, walking over to me straight away; placing her arms on my shoulders. "What's happened to your hands?" she asked, talking hold of then gently, I couldn't stop the tears streaming down my face. I coughed and Robert was next to her, he looked just as concerned.

"Is Magnus here?" I asked; realising Alec would have been with him if he was.

"He's just left" Alec said, "why?"

"My sister" I cried,

"Maryse, Harriet's been bitten by some sort of demon" Simon said, walking through the door. Clearly he didn't find Magnus since he's not here.

"Oh God, is she here?" Maryse asked,

"Yes, she's in the infirmary" Simon said, "along with Mr Hadley and Callum" he added.

"You brought mundanes here?" Jace asked, angrily. I glared at him, how dare he? My sister's dying and he has the nerve to question my actions. Maryse stepped past me, walking towards Simon.

"Jace, leave it" Robert muttered,

"It's a stupid thing to do" Jace growled, still glaring at me.

"My mother's dead and you're worried about my family finding out about the Institute, they don't give a crap about the Institute" I shrieked at him, back handing his face.

"Sarah, don't" Isabel said gently, steering me out of the room. I cried into her as she led me towards the infirmary; when we arrived back in the hall. Dad stood up and held his arms out to me; I let him embrace me tightly.

"Alec has called Magnus, he's on his way back" Maryse said, I pulled away and dried my eyes. Get it together, Sarah. I watched as Maryse examined Harriet's arm. Callum just sat, watching Isabel. I wanted to kick him, put your tongue back in. Mom's dead and Harriet's dying, there are better times.

"Can I take you to the living room?" Isabel asked my dad, and glanced at Callum. They can't be here while Magnus does his stuff. I get that but I couldn't see dad going without a fight, Callum stood up immediately and followed her. When Isabel looked back at dad and me, I nodded slightly and she left. I turned to dad and he looked down at me confused.

"What is this place?" he asked me, looking distraught. I felt distraught; I hadn't even looked in the mirror since I left for camping.

"A safe place, c'mon. Ari will be fine" I told him, he nodded; trusting me. If she doesn't make it through this, I wouldn't be surprised if he hated me. I took him by the hand and took him out of the infirmary; I took him to the living room and let Maryse explain to them some things about this place. Some lies I guessed, I went to the kitchen instead and splashed my face with cold water. I couldn't get rid of the imagines of mom...blood, body parts...whoever did this didn't just want to kill me and my family; they wanted to destroy us. I felt my stomach flip and I bent over the sink while I was sick. I eventually stopped gagging and cleaned the sink out; I washed my mouth out and got a glass of water. It was so early in the morning and yet I'd never felt more awake. I need to suck it up; I'll not get any sort of answers or revenge crying. Dad and Callum need me to be strong for them, and Harriet needs them to be strong for her. I walked back to the infirmary; Harriet was still unconscious and looked awful but Magnus was at work with it. I knew he'd heal her well; I sat down on the edge of her bed and took her right hand tightly. I sighed, if we hadn't gone; I could have fought them off. Saved mom! I could have done something; instead I'm at war with my own body trying not to kill people.

"Magnus" I said, he didn't stop working but I knew I had his attention. "Did you know any Shadowhunters by the name of Andrea and Jarred?" I asked, he paused and look at me for a few seconds; not that I looked at him. Well, did he?

"A very long time ago, when they were your age; Andrea Jenson and Jarred Markle" he replied, he poured something over Harriet's cuts on her face and started rubbing away the blood from her face. Her breathing calmed me, I'm so glad she's going to be okay. "Why do you ask?"

"I've had a few bad dreams lately, they're both in them. As well as Valentine and a little boy" I told him, he stopped what he was doing and crossed his arms. Walking around to the side of the bed I was on.

"Valentine and Jonathan are both dead, they couldn't have been behind this" he said,

"I wasn't implying they were" I replied, looking past him at the door where I noticed Simon was standing; watching us. He gave me a sympathetic smile and I looked back at Magnus. "In my dream, Andrea and Jarred mention a girl, Alexis. Heard of her?" I asked, he shook his head; still watching me carefully. "I want to find her, if she's still alive she might have some answers. It's a start right?" I asked; he nodded slowly.

"Speak to Maryse about it, she might have heard of an Alexis Markle" he told me,

"Okay" I sighed, "will she be all right?" I asked, looking down at Harriet.

"I've treated this wound many times, she'll be just fine" he reassured me, I smiled gently at her. She'll be fine here, I have to go and sort this stuff out. I stood up and walked towards Simon, his smile disappearing as I got closer; not smiling at him. What a mess this has turned out to be.


End file.
